“The way out of the labyrinth”

Ever since I was a child, I’ve felt this gaping hole within me that could only be filled by something I was unsure existed. Sure, once I felt full, complete but parts of me just faded into that hole within me. Like it was an abyss and every time I loved someone and lost them, a part of me sunk into that hole and that hole swallowed me whole. Or maybe the people I loved took a part of me with them. The worst day of loving someone is the day you lose them they say, but I think it’s the day you lose yourself. If someone asked me to name all the things I loved, it would take me long to name myself. Honestly my thoughts are like the sea, calm and collected when I’m surrounded by people, but once I’m alone and consumed by my thoughts, tidal waves could crash and swallow everything in the vicinity. What scares me most is inflicting my misery onto others, how do you help someone fix their broken pieces while yours are scattered? What if the only person who can fix you is the person that broke you? Like your heart has some particular fit that intertwines so perfectly with theirs. How do you truly move on? As John green once said, ”the labyrinth is suffering and there is no way out, you spend your entire life thinking about how the future is going to be wonderful but you just use it to escape the present, that is the cold truth.” What gets us through is hope, hope that it will be better someday, hope that suffering is finite and we will be infinitely complete. That is the way out of the labyrinth. I still have hope. Someday.